Other Mothers

I debated whether or not to even write this post but I needed somewhere to share.

I'm sorry in advance if my thoughts are scattered and jumbled.

Right now, we are going through something hard.  Painful.  Heartbreaking. Confusing.

I want to talk about it, but I don't want to talk about it.

With the few people I've shared with, I can't seem to speak without completely breaking down.  

If we are close and you're not sure what's going on, please don't feel like you aren't important in my life, I just need some time to be able to sort through and make sense of some things. 

I know with God, our pain is never wasted.  He will use this season to strengthen us and make us more compassionate towards others. One day, he will place others in our lives that we can help.

The few people I have spoken to have been mothers themselves.  No one understands a mother like another mother.  As mothers, we are used to holding things together.  But what happens when we fall apart?

These mothers have weeped with me and offered words of hope and encouragement.  

It's amazing how, as mothers we don't even have to be going through the same thing or even have experienced the same thing, but as soon as we hear what is going on and put ourselves in that situation as a mother, our hearts are broken just the same. 

I'm so thankful for the few that have been brave enough to share with me their own similar struggles.  

I know that these conversations are not random.  They are intentional and on purpose.

I went to the hospital yesterday.  Not to visit but to drop something off.  I wanted to be invisible.  I wanted to be in and out without having to speak with anyone.  I had been alone all day and just wanted to continue to keep it together.  As long as I didn't open my mouth I could do it.  God had other plans.  As I was walking in, I ran into a couple that used to attend church with us.  I hadn't seen them in a while, but they are a couple that my husband and I loved dearly.  My heart began to race as we approached.  I didn't want to tell them why I was there.  After just a minute of small talk, it came out.  As soon as I opened up, she and I were embraced in a hug and crying together for what seemed like 20 minutes.  That hug meant the world to me in that moment.  I think we all just need to be heard and desire to know that we are not alone.

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